Thanks to anyone that read and responded (on FB) to my previous blog post. Here's more of my story since I am, for whatever reason, not tired even though it's midnight and I will be super tired in the morning.
Where did I leave off? We moved back to Albuquerque. I was more than bummed about being in New Mexico. Not to the fault of New Mexico but more because I have this idea that I never want to go backwards in my life. I had been here. I wanted to keep moving on, or keep moving forward. Maybe it's some competitive thing?
Anyway we moved back. I slowly started to like being here. One of the things that helped me was our little "mother-in-law quarters" rental or casita. All our stuff was in a POD storage thing, thinking we'd live in this tiny, furnished casita place for a couple months and then rent a house. Well, we adored our landlords, their dogs and their garden. They treated us like part of the family (we're still friends and still adore them!). The dogs had a little dog door to our place that we willingly left open for visits from Bob and Emily(named after the Newharts) and Bella too. The woman landlord is an expert gardener and welcomed us to pick and eat things from the garden. It was a lovely place to live and heal.
While living in the casita I started to volunteer at Animal Humane as a dog walker. After five months (yep, all our stuff besides two suitcases and backpacking gear was in the POD for about 6 months) in the casita we found a rental house that we moved into. Mark and I decided we were ready for our own dog again and we found Poppy Q whom we renamed Phoebe. She was a stray puppy and it was love at first lap-sit. Having a puppy really opened up a bunch of stuff in our marriage. Our communication improved and our team-work strengthened. This of course was after some really hard times and things that only sleep deprivation from a puppy will help you reach.
Then, I got pregnant. Yippee! Like I mentioned, it was basically a combination of all human emotions stuffed into each moment. The pregnancy was good but after the previous losses I was nervous and had to work hard on meditating. I was and am thankful for the Blissborn Hypnosis birth class we took to prepare.
Fast forward through the almost 41 weeks of pregnancy and my water broke and I didn't know. My plan/hope/preference was to give birth at Dar a Luz birth center but I was suddenly put on a schedule due to the risk of infection for the baby. My contractions were also not really ramping up so the midwife had me take castor oil. Phew. That's the real deal! Those intestinal contractions started the uterine contractions by the time I got to UNMH.
I wasn't planning on using a doula since Mark and I are a good team. I also felt really informed from all of our classes at Dar a Luz and the Blissborn class. At the last minute though, when the plans shifted from birth center to hospital, I decided to request a doula. Dar a Luz has a program exchange with New Life Birth doula agency. I had met all the doulas before, and would just be given whoever was on call that night.
I got Shawn. She came to the birth and instantly was a birth professional in the form of a comforting friend. She anticipated my needs. Talked me though all the intense emotions of birth. Fully involved Mark and also gave him a break to hydrate and eat. I am eternally thankful she was present at our birth.
My goal was an un-medicated birth and that is what I got, in the hospital. I think my preparation for the birth and life experiences, all of them, helped greatly. I truly had a profound feeling of love and thankfulness throughout my labor. It was like nothing I have ever experienced. Two (and little bit) years away now, I still remember lots of different moments about the labor and birth of our daughter. The main thing I remember about the experience was an enormous amount of strength that I had in myself. It makes me the person, wife, mom and friend I am today. It transformed me. I think I was able to step into my strength because of the support and space I was given during my labor and birth.