For real, I love being a mom. I had no idea I'd like it so much. When my husband and I first got married we were both on the fence about kids. I knew for sure I wanted to marry him, and I knew I wanted a career as a professional musician. That was about as far as I had really thought!
When I was growing up, I remember my mom saying that she had "always" wanted babies and had "always" known she wanted to be a mom...and that made me always feel bad for her. How lame. All she aspired to was being a mom? Really? That's all?! What about her identity as a person, her place in society, her career, her hobbies and whatever else is possible to stuff into a full and happy life?
Yeah, then I had a baby. My everything flipped on its head. This little person is amazing to be around and I feel so lucky to get to hang out with her all day. I am not sure I want to go back to full time work...ever. Do I "just" want to be a mom? Is it really so small of a title after all? I mean, I am raising a human. I am trying to help her figure out all the developmental goodies that come with growing into an independent person. It sounds like a colossal role. It really actually is a colossal role!
My mom passed away in February 2014 and I so wish I could apologize for thinking she had no aspiration since she "just" wanted to be a mom... which turned out to mean running the house in a zillion ways, caring for my dad, my brother and me, and having a few careers over her lifetime.
Anyway, it's really damn hard work being a mom. It's awesome-sauce and fun and then taxing and patience-pushing. If being a mom was your goal in life, I think it's a pretty great one. If it's your goal for right now, I think it's also a pretty great one. So many moms I get to know are hard on themselves for not being more and doing more. It can be about anything: more of a career, more of an elaborate house or elaborate meals, or cleaning more, or having more play-dates. Why do we do this to ourselves? Maybe we are all more than enough. Sorry, this is getting too heavy. Do you like the Llama Llama books? You need to see this silly video now.
Anyway, it's Saturday and I'm just sharing. I don't have it figured out by any means and I am not in a position to offer advice on life, so I won't. I just wanted to share that what we do whether we stay home full-time, part-time, or some combo of the two is a bunch of work. It takes a toll on our brains but also on our necks and back. Was that enough of a transition? Ha!
It's important to listen to our body while we are giving so much of ourselves to our little one/s. Let's talk quick about the physical aches and pains of carrying a baby or toddler around all day, or breastfeeding possibly in funny positions, or co-sleeping (and getting kicked in the neck last night...ooof). Stretching is so important for that synovial fluid in your back. Man, my life is better from 15 minutes here and there with a YouTube yoga stretch. I had a yoga teacher say that "a flexible spine gives you a flexible mind." Maybe that's the key to us being more gentle on ourselves during whatever phase we are in of motherhood. Again, I am not offering life advice but I can offer advice to try these videos on on the neck and back pain!
I wish you well and I wish you gentle thoughts for yourself...and I wish the same for me.